On the vital importance of Emotional Range and Emotional Regulation

We all have an emotional capacity - ‘an emotional range’

When we are in range, we feel calm and grounded

Our breathing is deep

We are in our parasympathetic nervous system otherwise known as ‘rest and digest’

We are alert and able to respond

We are in faith and trust – life is essentially good and we feel supported by it

When an event triggers us out of emotional range we become reactive and disorganised

This event could be anything from lack of sleep, to someone saying something a bit irritating to a big T trauma event like a car crash

It actually doesn’t matter, there is no scale of what a correct reaction is, we all have our own individual triggers

The point is that when we come out of emotional range we aren’t in our right minds

Our filters stop working

We might go into a rage or blind panic. Everything is heightened. We make extreme decisions and judgements

Or alternatively we might shut down and/or go numb. (Sometimes for me this manifests as falling asleep – this has even happened to me while having an argument)

It can also be experienced as not being able to think straight, like cotton wool in the brain

However being out of range shows up, one thing is for sure, fear is running the show

Recognising  when we are in emotional range or out of emotional range is a NINJA skill

Personally I believe this is the first and vastly under acknowledged step to self-management

Getting familiar with our own emotional range is an absolutely life changing practice

Ask yourself right now, am I in emotional range or out?

As you start to practice and build the muscle of emotional self-management you will start to see when ‘Ah! I’m close to the edge of my Emotional Range’

This will enable you to stop what you are doing and take care of yourself so as not to get completely knocked out

It’s easier to come back to equilibrium from being close to your limit than it is once you’ve gone over it

Going out of emotional range requires recovery – knowing this means that you can take really good care of yourself

Taking care of yourself when you’ve gone out of range DOES NOT look like talking about it

Usually it looks like doing something body based:

Breathing deeply into your tummy so that you can see it moving in and out

Walking in nature, or lie on the grass and pay attention to what is around you

A salt bath with loads of salt and soothing music

Dancing or shaking to some emotive music

Being held by someone you trust

Are all good e.gs of ‘activities’ that help settle the nervous system so that you can come back in to emotional range  

Can you recognise when you’re out of emotional range?

Loving you, wherever you are, Nx